So it's been more than 2 months since my last post, but I promise I'm still here and, yes, still pregnant. I'm now 13 weeks along staring down the barrel of the next 27 long weeks.
Thus far, we haven't shared the news with anyone (well, almost anyone). B's mom visited and found an ultrasound picture left sitting on the table (oops!). And B told a friend who was trying to help him find a new four-wheeler to buy (not going to be happening now). But for the most part, our families and friends don't know.
With my first pregnancy I wasn't excited about telling my family that I was expecting, but I couldn't wait to tell B's family. This time, I'm not terribly excited about telling anybody. I guess I think that if I just keep it to myself it won't really happen, but we all know that isn't the case. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm more than a little scared about what life will be like with 2 babies under 2 in the house.
Baby E will be 14 months old when Baby #2 is born. Right now, Baby E is very very clingy and wants his Mama more than anybody. Lots of days it's almost impossible to cook supper because I have to do it with Baby E on my hip. Thank goodness for crock pots and casseroles. Anything that I can get ready after Baby E goes to bed and pop in the oven or get out of the crock pot when I get home the next afternoon is God-sent. What scares me is how I'll manage to hold 2 babies at once, how I'll be able to give each of them the time they need, how I'll manage when B has to go away on business for a week, how do I keep a 1.5 year old entertained while I feed a newborn? How do you do it???? And, oh, how will I ever again find time for a shower when there are 2 of them needing me every second?
Until yesterday I also worried about how I would manage to do everything around the house that needed doing. For the last 3 months or so, I've felt a little like a single mom who had a baby and a grown child to care for. B has been stressed to the limit as he preparred to take a licensure exam for his job. He was gone every weekend for the past 8 weeks to a class and tried to find time to study every night. This left me with all the housework, the yard work (on weekends while Baby E was with grandparents), the cooking, the cleaning, and full-time Baby E duties. Then periodically, hubby gets all depressed saying I don't love him anymore because I never want to make love. With everything already on my plate, I just felt like love-making was one more chore to add to the list. Sleep seemed very much preferable to a roll in the hay.
But this week, things have been somehow different. B is helping out more when we get home from work rather than just sitting on the couch grumbling because he's having to hold Baby E while I cook supper. Last night, while I fed and cuddled Baby E after work, Hubby did all the dishes and finished up supper. I had some pork chops in the crock pot and he cooked some green beans and potatoes to go with it. Then I fed Baby E while he ate and he distracted Baby E while I ate. After supper, he did the dishes while I did bathtime. And he really didn't complain at all. It was wonderful to feel like I had a partner in all of this again. It was so good in fact, that I rewarded him with a little "hubby time". Last night, instead of going to bed exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated we both went to bed happy. It was heavenly.
