Do you ever just get worn completely out? I do. This week I've been exhausted and I'm afraid that it's beginning to wear on my family.
Baby E has been sick for almost 2 weeks now. We started with an ear infection. I took him to the doc and got an antibiotic. Thinking it was no big deal we trudged on with our normal routine. 2 days later Baby E had what I assume to be a combination of a stomach bug and a bad reaction to the anti-biotics. A call to the doc yielded instructions for coping. Then we spent the whole weekend spent nursing a sick baby.
Monday morning we thought things were all better, tried another dose of antibiotic and were promptly vomited all over. Now we know he can't take that drug. Doctor trip #2 (1 week 2 days ago) was to see if we needed to try a different antibiotic. The ear infection had improved so we decided to see if it would clear up on its own.
Yesterday we were supposed to go to the doctor for Baby E's 12 month shots (Doctor trip #3). When they started the initial screening (checking temp, weight, etc.) we discovered E was running a low-grade fever. He was super cranky, but he's typically cranky late in the afternoon so I didn't really think much of it. Turns out the ear infection and sore throat are back. More antibiotics... yay!
So since Baby E has been sick (and doing some teething) he hasn't been sleeping through the night. Since about 8 weeks old, Baby E has slept through the night with no real trouble so to say I'm unaccustomed to waking 2-3 times a night to soothe him is probably an understatement.
To make matters worse, Baby E has recently decided that his new wake-up time is 4 am. This means that no only do I miss my last hour of sleep but that I now have to get dressed with Baby E in tow. Thankfully, I shower at night after he goes to bed so at least I have that out of the way. I can now say that I've mastered the arts of putting on my makeup with him on one hip, keeping him out of the toilet while trying to fix my hair, and generally spending my morning bathroom time jumping between playing, dressing, and picking Baby E up periodically.
Though I always enjoy seeing him this juggling act slows me down severely in the mornings. Alone, I can be dressed and ready in 15-20 minutes. With Baby E in tow, it takes more like 30-45 minutes. I used to use the extra time in my morning to make lunches, start supper for that night in the crock pot, eat breakfast... now I'm doing good to throw something from the fridge into my lunch bag just before running out the door.
I'm generally exhausted, 24 weeks pregnant, and I work full time. Last night Baby E refused to go to bed on time and was up at 4 am again this morning. He got nowhere near enough sleep. So he was more than a little cranky this morning. It was one of those mornings where he just screamed no matter what. Pick him up; he cries to get down. Put him down to play; he cries to be picked up. Wipe the snot from his nose; he screams bloody murder. Change his diaper; cries like we just killed his dog. NOTHING was right. By the time we left the house I felt like a zombie, abad wife, and a worse mom,
The hubby says that lately he feels like he is an inconveniance to me. I don't quite know how to tell him, but right now life is an inconveniance. I haven't cooked supper in 2 weeks and I miss decent healthy food. I no longer have time for much of anything except making Baby E feel better (which apparently only Mommy can do... no one else). I feel like a failure at everything. I can't take care of my husband and I can't get my child over all this sickness. What good am I? Right now I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep for the next week and wakeup to the life I knew before teething and sickness took over my life.
This all may be the hormones and exhaustion talking, but right now my whole life is inconvenent. I want to do better and be happier but I'm going to need to feel like something is going my way in order for that to happen.
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