Deciding to Make a Baby

So you and your significant other have decided to make a baby.  Are you sure that you've thought this one through?  Yes, babies are lovely little things and the thoughts of counting those tiny fingers and toes can make all of us get a little giddy with excitement.  But... have you imagined the day that you go home from the hospital?

What's it going to be like on that first day when you find yourself in an empty house with just Mommie, Daddy, and Baby?  Yes, I know it's going to be blissful... you picture yourself rocking baby gently while he sleeps.  Yes that might happen, but eventually baby wakes and wants food, PRONTO! Now you and hubby are in a house with a screaming, hungry, baby.  "That's easy!" you say, "just feed baby."  Okay but baby is a newborn and your milk hasn't yet come in and you can't afford formula and baby isn't latching well and you were up all night trying to feed the night before and all he wants to do is scream.  In fact, he's not even attempting to nurse. 

Odds are the events that I've just described will happen to you at some point in the first few days that baby is at home.  We've all been there and we all know that at some point it is likely to happen.  If you are considering having a child and you haven't thought through and accepted this reality, it's time to do so. 

And while we're talking about realities, let's discuss money.  My hubby and I are both very well paid professionals.  We have nice steady jobs that we feel secure in with great benefits.  And yet, I'll freely admit that our finances were not nearly as prepared for baby as we would have liked.  Babies somehow cost more than anyone can possibly imagine.  We spent hundreds (not thousands because I'm cheap) prior to baby's arrival to prepare the house and a nursery.  Then there were hospital bills, doctor bills, and don't even get me started on how expensive diapers and formula are.  If you can't afford to double your grocery bill to afford diapers and formula, you too are not financially prepared. 

Oh, and don't forget in that budgeting for baby to set aside costs for daycare or be able to give up one person's income.  Daycare in my area can range from $300 to $1200 a month.  I live in a fairly low-cost area too so I can't imagine what daycare costs would be in urban areas.  In some cases it really is more economical for one parent to stay home than to pay for daycare. 

Now don't get me wrong, my baby boy is worth every single penny I spend on him.  I'd take a second or third job if necessary just to support him.  I love him and there isn't a single thing I wouldn't do for him.  I've learned to cope with his very occasional screaming fits and how to soothe him when nothing else will.  But at one point I was just sitting on the couch crying with my baby because he was crying and I didn't know what else to do.  If you are considering making a baby, you'd better think through the items above or you may find yourself in a very ugly situation.